Lexical Vexations

1. To newscasters and pedagogues: Please take the time to research the pronunciation and articulation of foreign words. Say "Chang-tze-i" instead of "Zaang-zee-yee", and substitute "Wun-chia-pao" for "Wen-ja-baw"( When you say it like that, you sound as though you're about to say "jabar"). My ears are bleeding in indignation.
2. For crying out loud, say "try to" instead of "try and".
3. Repeat the phrase "at the end of the day" one more time, and I will do my damnedest to make sure your day ends badly.
4.I wonder why Canadians say "ewt", as in, "check this ewt". Really.
5. Come to think of it, the Brits, Aussies, and Kiwis are even stranger for saying "Aurstralee-yer" and "Drarwring board".
6. DJs. Don't think that you're superior to us just because you're conyitos and conyitas who can put on those phony American accents. Do not be fatuous. Your grammar is execrable.
7. Humanities classmate whose name I don't know: Stop saying "fil-lings" when you mean to say "FEElings".
8. Humanities prof whose classes I can't stand: Stop substituting "z" for "s" and punctuating your sentences with your favorite phrase, "I don't know". You sound more like a drone than ever, and in case you haven't noticed, we're quite aware that you're incompetent. And by the way, "talked about" is for children. "Discussed" would be less childish.
9. Grocery checkout signs should read, "12 items or fewer", not "12 items or less". Similarly, Starbucks napkins should read "Fewer napkins, more planet". (BUT THEN AGAIN (hahaha), Stabucks is in cahoots with the conyos. No surprises there.)
10.Inserting the word "why" after the word "reason" is superfluous. The reason is enough in itself, and saying "the reason why I" makes you sound more inane than you already are.