Para sa Buwan ng Wika

Noong panahon ko sa high school bilang punong patnugot sa aming school paper, hindi pinahintulot ng pamunuan ng aming paaralan ang paglathala ng aking kauna-unahang editorial. Ito'y dahil sa ipinataw na English speaking policy ng eskwelahan sa aming mga estudyante. Ayon sa tagapamahala mula sa administrasyon, labag daw ang aking editorial sa mga adhikain at patakaran ng paaralan, na siyang salungat sa tunay na pakay ng isang editorial. Ang katuwiran ko naman, hindi nakasalalay sa akin ang tungkuling iyon bilang isang malayang mamahayag, sapagkat ang aking mga pananaw ay hindi sumasalamin sa mga pananaw ng administrasyon. Ni hindi man lamang nila ako binigyan ng abiso tungkol sa editorial na nais nilang mabasa. Sa katunayan, ako mismo ay lumabag sa mga pinahahayag ng aking editorial sapagkat isinulat ko ito sa wikang Ingles, hindi sa wikang Pilipino. Ito'y dahil wikang Ingles ang opisyal na ginagamit ng paaralan, at dahil na rin kulang ang aking kakayahan sa wikang Pilipino upang maisulat ang nasasabing akda. Marami pang mga bagay kung saan maraming mga diprensya sa pagitan ko at sa mga kinauukulan, at maging sa kapwa kong mga estudyante sa staff, ngunit ang pagtutuunan ko ng pansin ngayon ay ang naumsiyaming paglathala ng kauna-unahan kong editorial. Ito'y isang pangyayari na hindi katanggap-tanggap sa akin, at sa aking palagay ang editorial na iyon ay propesiya na nagkatotoo ngunit hindi napakinabangan dahil hindi ito pinansin. (Hanggang ngayo'y isinisisi ko ang kakulangan ko ng kaalaman, katahasan, kabihasaan sa pagsusulat, pagintindi, at pagbigkas sa lengguwaheng Pilipino sa aking paaralan, dala ng pagmamaliit nila dito bilang isang lengguwahe. Tinatanaw ko na rin ang insidenteng iyon bilang napakahalaga para sa akin bilang manunulat, dahil higit sa kahit ano pa mang pagpuri, ang pagtanggi na iyon sa aking editorial ay ang nagmulat sa akin sa hindi-matatakasang katotohanan na nakapalibot sa kahit anong uri ng akda. Marami ang hindi sasangayon sa akda mo at marami ang babalewalain ito, bagamat tama at makatotohanan ang nilalaman nito, at maaring dulot iyon ng takot mawalan ng kapangyarihan, mariin na pagsunod sa dogma, o maging ang mismong kakiputan ng kanilang pag-iisip. Natuto rin akong ipaglaban ang mga akda ko, at marahil iyon na rin ay dahilan kung kaya't mas higit kong kinikilatis at pinaninindigan ang mga sinusulat ko, dahil labag sa kalooban ko na basta-bastahin na lamang ito ng ibang tao. At ngayon, mahigit-kumulang tatlong taon mula noong una ko itong sinulat, mailalathala na ngayon ang aking kauna-unahang (ipinagbawal) na editorial.

I Love My Own(?), My Native Land

English has had a large following and a lasting prevalence in the country over the past few decades. However, the recent deterioration of English proficiency raises a question as to its continuance in the Philippines. National statistics show that students who failed annual screening tests in English averaged 20 percent below the passing mark.

This is ominous news, considering the wealth of acclaimed authors in the country who write in English. The proliferation of signs written with poor grammar, alongside essays by high school students using stilted, elementary language cannot be ignored. The blame lies in different directions: the educational system, the government, and our society as a whole.

Out of 53,000 public school teachers who took the 2004 Dep-Ed English assessment exam, only 10,070 passed. The incompetence of teachers is detrimental not only to the students' understanding of English, but also to their comprehension of lessons in other subjects. This problem can only be expected to worsen in the long run. The government has not done its share either by relegating the Filipino subject to the backseat of the educational system. Whatever happened to having a national language? Without a steady foundation in the mother tongue, students will either find English difficult to learn or will altogether forsake Filipino, as they will have nothing with which to familiarize their knowledge of English. Indeed, there are but a few who can still read, write, and translate Tagalog, not to mention other dialects, with the necessary fluency and delicacy for linguistic nuances.

English has been full instituted into our way of life: we are required to speak it in school, we read it on billboards, and we hear it on the radio. English is also now widely employed by the church, and since the American occupation has been the language in which our laws are written. In the present social hierarchy, moreover, people are judged and assigned to their respective positions based on their aptitude in English. Filipino has now been cast aside as commonplace and is treated as nothing more than an accidental language. By embracing the foreign, we have failed to appreciate the good that remains in having our own language, our own identity.

Proficiency in English, along with the knowledge that it gives, is profitable and opens a wide range of opportunities for those who learn it. The real mistake lies in assuming that English, along with foreign customs and ideas, is far better than language and tradition inherently Filipino.

English cannot substitute for our national language; it is merely a tool we use in communicating with the rest of the world. It is high time we stop toadying to what is not ours; let us instead reconcile our hearts and minds to what is rightfully our own, while respecting the value of that which others have imparted to us.

Author's note: This editorial is in essence the same as the original. I took pains to edit only when necessary, and refrained from altering the tone of the original. The statistics shown are old, but I believe that they reflect the current situation.

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Lexical Vexations

1. To newscasters and pedagogues: Please take the time to research the pronunciation and articulation of foreign words. Say "Chang-tze-i" instead of "Zaang-zee-yee", and substitute "Wun-chia-pao" for "Wen-ja-baw"( When you say it like that, you sound as though you're about to say "jabar"). My ears are bleeding in indignation.
2. For crying out loud, say "try to" instead of "try and".
3. Repeat the phrase "at the end of the day" one more time, and I will do my damnedest to make sure your day ends badly.
4.I wonder why Canadians say "ewt", as in, "check this ewt". Really.
5. Come to think of it, the Brits, Aussies, and Kiwis are even stranger for saying "Aurstralee-yer" and "Drarwring board".
6. DJs. Don't think that you're superior to us just because you're conyitos and conyitas who can put on those phony American accents. Do not be fatuous. Your grammar is execrable.
7. Humanities classmate whose name I don't know: Stop saying "fil-lings" when you mean to say "FEElings".
8. Humanities prof whose classes I can't stand: Stop substituting "z" for "s" and punctuating your sentences with your favorite phrase, "I don't know". You sound more like a drone than ever, and in case you haven't noticed, we're quite aware that you're incompetent. And by the way, "talked about" is for children. "Discussed" would be less childish.
9. Grocery checkout signs should read, "12 items or fewer", not "12 items or less". Similarly, Starbucks napkins should read "Fewer napkins, more planet". (BUT THEN AGAIN (hahaha), Stabucks is in cahoots with the conyos. No surprises there.)
10.Inserting the word "why" after the word "reason" is superfluous. The reason is enough in itself, and saying "the reason why I" makes you sound more inane than you already are.

Why I Write

I disapproved of blogs at the time when blogs were a fad, not a norm, failing to see anything in publicly publishing your work except humiliation. I believed then, as I do now, that displaying one's dirty laundry is uncalled for in blogs, as it very often incriminates others. I also believe that writing a blog warrants a certain amount of gall. Far too many bloggers have gall in excess, I'm afraid. Just look at all those blogs whose entries defy description and can only be interpreted symbolically by a mental image of your favorite analgesic. I had no wish to embarrass myself so publicly, after wincing countless times at myriad grammatical errors and various other indiscretions.

However, I have since then appreciated the value of a blog as a medium by which to broadcast one's thoughts with virtually no expense or censorship, and also as a way of making sense of all the thoughts crammed in my head that would otherwise expire, unused and bodiless in the sphere of existence that is the abode of abandoned ideas. My blog has become a form of catharsis for my ever-moody, ever-neurotic self, and quite luckily only a few people know about it. I want to keep the thoughts in this blog hidden from the people who think they know me. I use a pseudonym because, were I to use my real name, other people's preconception of me would distort my words. I do not want to change my words to please other people, and at the same time I want to write with relative freedom. Let the random reader stumble upon this blog, but seldom will I let my classmates, friends, or relatives read this, or let them know that I have written these words. I am reticent to show them these thoughts, because I do not know what they will make of it, and I do not want to come to blows with any of them, physical or otherwise. The fact that I am a private sort of person is one of the other reasons I want my identity to remain unknown; it is also the reason I reveal so little of my personal life in this blog. I think its anonymity reflects the alienation and disillusion that compels me to write, and I want it to remain that way. To quote Joan Didion, from whom I borrowed this title, "I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want to what I fear." I write, simply, because.

Kontrabida

Para sa akin, mas maraming lamang sa pagiging kontrabida; ano na nga ba ang pakikipagsapalaran kung walang kontrabida? Ang mga kontrabida ay ang mga bumubuhay ng kwento--sila ay mga iconoklastikong tauhan na nagsusumikap pabagsakin ang nakagawiang pamamaraan ng pamumuhay, ang status quo. Sila ang mga taong kinalimutan at itinakwil na ng lipunan-- ang mga tinuturing kasuklam-suklam dulot ng samu't-saring dahilan. Ngunit sila ri'y kahanga-hanga dahil pinili nilang hamakin ang tadhanang kumitil ng kanilang mga pangarap, pinili nilang umahon sa pasyang pinataw sa kanila ng tadhana na siyang lulugmok sa kanila patungong kamatayan kung ito'y kanilang sinundan. Pinili nilang mabuhay sa gitna ng pagkamuhi at kalungkutan. Kung tutuusin, ang bida ay katha lamang ng mga taong tumatangkilik rito-- ang mga taong nakikinabang sa kanya. Maaaring ang isang bida ay nagbibida-bidahan lamang, at wala naman palang tunay na kakayahan. Siguro ang naghihiwalay lamang sa mga bida at kontrabida ay ang paghanga ng lipunan at ang pagkamuhi nito.

Maaring pinili ko na rin maging kontrabida dahil alam ko na noon pa na hindi rin tumatagal ang pagiging bida; at kung gayon, bakit pa ba ako magaaksaya ng panahon na magpakabida, kung pagiging kontrabida rin ang hahantungan ko? Nais nating maging mga bida, ngunit hindi natin maikakaila na likas na sa atin ang pagtitiwalag sa kabaitan. Hindi tayo mga santong kahoy na mananatiling mapayapa sa gitna ng unos ng buhay, at hindi natin maaring pangarapin na tayo'y gagawa lamang ng mabuti sa ating kapwa. Sa hindi maipaliwanag na dahilan, tayo ang nagiging kontrabida, sa ayaw o sa gusto natin.

Kanya-kanya tayo ng kontrabida sa ating mga buhay-buhay. Mayroong mga iba na nalimutan na natin, mula pa sa pagkabata; mayroong laging nakaabang, na biglang sumusulpot mula sa madidilim na sulok; mayroon na rin tayong napabagsak at nalupig. Ngunit sa buong buhay ng isang tao, mayroon isang kontrabida na hindi lulubay sa kanya, at iyon ay ang sarili niya. Hindi nga ba't isang malaking hamon ang pagsupil sa mga tukso na inaalay sa atin nga ating mga isipan? Hindi nga ba't nag-aalinlangan tayo sa araw-araw kung ano nga ba ang daan na dapat tahakin, hindi ba tayo nanganganib dahil sa pag-aalinlangan na ito? Hindi ba tayo nagiging hadlang sa ating mga mithiin? Hindi ba tayo ang mga kontrabida sa sarili nating mga buhay, na humahadlang sa pagtanghal ng mga eksena sa maikling dula? Hindi nga ba tayo ang mismong sanhi ng ating kasawian?